writer’s block

I spent a long time looking for the right prompt. in the end I just wasn’t feeling any of them. So that’s what I wrote about. Hopefully, my muse and I will back at it next week…

The cursor blinked impatiently at me as I stared and stared at the blank page. I’d been sitting at my computer for hours.  Just a few years ago, there would be an overflowing wastebasket of paper yanked from my typewriter. Hitting the backspace button wasn’t nearly as satisfying.

Too many half-baked ideas were running through my head. This was not the time for my muse to take the day off.  Whenever I got even a little stuck my muse would give me that gentle nudge or slap on the head. . I’d gotten used to my ideas flowing into words onto the page Our partnership was beautiful, until she decided on a day off.

Once, I realized that she was gone, I tried to get by without her. She wasn’t the only one with ideas. Two hours later, I had to admit that I was very, very wrong. I wasn’t sure when she would come back. It was time for drastic measures. I sighed and made the call. I needed a temp muse.

Suddenly, a slippery idea anchored itself. The story of Digger, the peaceful garden gnome unfolded like it was supposed to. There he was, taking care of the plants; nurturing seedlings and clearing out weeds, with a smile. Oh, there’s the neighbor’s dog to provide a little conflict for my story.

Wait, when did Digger get those muscles? Did he just growl at the neighbor’s dog? Are those rose thorn daggers strapped to his newly bulging biceps? When did I write that? I would never write this.

Stop! Leave Digger alone. Next muse please.

Okay, let’s get back to the friendly gnome. The dog escapes the angry gnome unscathed. Do you have to pay for therapy for a fictional dog? Back to the garden plants. Wait, what’s happing now? Nothing? Nothing is happening because Digger has strung a leaf between two stems and he’s using it as a hammock. And the gnome is napping. Seriously? Next muse!

What’s this? Since when does Digger have a girlfriend? She’s climbed into the hammock. Oh, that’s cute. They’re going to nap together. The affectionate little gnome wrapped his arms around his girlfriend. She leaned down and slipped her tongue in his mouth as her hand…Wait! What’s happening? What’s she doing? Oh god, I’ll never get be able to get that image out of my head. I can’t do this.

None of these others will do, I need my muse. Yes, she’s over-caffeinated and tends to send me down crazy paths that only amuse her. And, she disappears for long periods of time.  Sometimes, she has to be bribed with chocolate or coffee. Did, I mention that she likes coffee?

What if she never comes back? What if I’m stuck like this? Think of poor Digger. He’s just going to be stuck with his girlfriend in that hammock, forever. Oh, there you are. Where have you been? Coffee? You left me for a latte?  And you’ve brought me one too? At 10:00 at night? Who needs sleep anyway?